Ni'mah

Stay or depart makes no difference to a heart that busies itself with seeking the pleasure of the Bestower of Ni'mah more than the ni'mah itself! I'm thankful to be part of the privileged few to share in the good news. Deep down, I instinctively know that you will do very well on 1 Nov 2017. And yes, you will be a constant in our thoughts and prayers, as always, as always...

Sanah Helwa

Today I am instinctively reminded of someone dear, whose birthday falls in this month of Safar. You are in my constant thoughts and prayers - I pray that Allah ease all your affairs and that you are bestowed with much patience for all that life throws at you (I know you are strong coz I learnt so much from you) and may you be surrounded with much care, love, and respect from those whom you engage with in all your affairs. May Allah shower you with His countless blessing, mercy, and sustenance and place you under His direct care and protection. May you be placed amongst those whom you love in this world and in the next. Aamiin ya Allah. Sanah helwa.

Isyarat

Surah Ar-Rum 30:21 appeared on alert mode via my mobile the moment I was done with my supplication. And of late, I have been instinctively and keenly made aware of subtle signs that came my way. 

Imam al-Ghazali RA said, "What is destined will reach you, even if it be beneath two mountains. What is not destined will not reach you, even if it be between your lips." So go easy on yourself, for the outcome of all affairs is determined by Allah's decree. If something is meant to go elsewhere, it will never come your way, but if it is yours by destiny, from you it cannot flee. Allahu-akbar!

Surrender...

Only your mum truly knows what is best for you (thank you for your invaluable advice). O Lord! I turn to you, seeking your aid, submitting to Your Will (will be at peace with your Decree). Hasbiya-Allah wa Ni'mal Wakil Ni'mal Maula wa Ni'man Nasir, laa hawla wala quwwata illa bilLahil aliyil 'azeem.

Its Time...

Souls are like conscripted soldiers who recognize and get along with each other. I sense that the time has come for me to recognize and acknowledge mine (the puzzle pieces are finally coming together to form a beautiful picture, insya-Allah). With that, Rabbi Yassir wala Tu'assir Rabbi Tammim bil Khayr (O Lord Make it Easy, Do not Make it Difficult, O Lord, Conclude it with a Good Ending). BismilLah bi IznilLah (in the name of Allah and with Allah's permission)...

Marhaban Ya Muharram

As I recited the supplications to end 1438H and welcome 1439H on 22 Sep 2017 as well as listened to the tadzkirah by Ustaz Ashraf, my mind instinctively wandered to time spent with my spiritual father. Subhana-Allah! The wonders of life, when one departs, another is welcomed into this dunya.

Ya Ustaz, I remembered how each year we celebrated your birthday (you preferred your Islamic birthday - a blessed month!). On 1 Muharram, with the birth of Baby Z (I'm so thankful she shares your birthdate - such barakah!), I pray that she will grow up to be Muslimah Solehah with that same compassion, fervour, honesty, and spirit (exemplary trademarks of yours) in Da'wah Islamiyyah that will please Allah Ta'ala, RasululLah SAW, his Ummah, including her parents and you, aamiin Ya Allah!

Till we meet again, yaa Ustaz... I miss you...

O Teachers...

A teacher is a priceless gift for the value of a good teacher is beyond compare. He plants the seeds of knowledge that will last a lifetime. And he (through lessons taught) affects eternity - he can never tell where his influence stops. Missing my teachers...

Congrats!

"He who works with his hands is a labourer; He who works with his hands and his head is a craftsman; He who works with his hands, his mind and his heart, is an artist." 

Felt blessed to have had the opportunity to work with talented people who are genuinely passionate about their craft and he was no exception. Witnessed this true artist at work and I appreciated (still do!) the magnificent work he did for some of the e-learning projects I managed a few years back. Congrats, Sonny!

In Remembrance

4 years ago on 26 Syawal, just after 'Asr, grams returned to His Lord and was finally at peace (and so in love). He looked so handsomely smiley after the ritual bath as I kissed his forehead before his journey to his resting place at Pusara Abadi. And this week, his resting place (among the other 80,000 graves) was in the news. The graves will be exhumed to make way for Tengah Air Base expansion, laa hawla wala quwwata illa bilLahil aliyil azeem.

"Allahummaghfirlahu, warhamhu, wa 'afihi, wa'fu 'anhu, wa akrim nuzulahu, wa wassi' mudkhalahu, waghsilhu bil-ma'i wath-thalji wal-baradi, wa naqqihi minal-khataya, kama naqqaytath-thawbal-abyada minad-danasi, wa abdilhu daran khairan min darihi, wa ahlan khairan min ahlihi, wa zawjan khairan min zawjihi, wa adkhilhul-Jannata, wa a'idh-hu min 'adhabil- qabri, wa min 'adhabin-nar" 

(O Allah! Forgive him, bestow mercy upon him, pardon him, accord him a noble provision and make his grave spacious, wash him with water, snow and hail, purify him from sins as You have purified the white garment from soiling, give him a better abode in place of his present one, and a better family in exchange of his present one, and a better spouse in place of his present wife; admit him to Jannah and protect him from the trial in the grave and punishment in the Hell), aamiin yaa Allah!

Missing you, grams... 

Allahumma 'Awslih Qalbi

Scholars said, "Afdhal-ul-'ilm 'ilm-ul-hal" (of priority or urgency is the knowledge of the state of the heart) and "Jihad-un-nafs akbar-ul-jihad" (the greatest struggle is that of the self) for "Man 'arafa nafsahu faqad 'arafa Rabbahu" (he who knows himself, knows his Lord). Indeed, "Ilaahi Anta maqsudi wa ridhoKa mathlubi 'atiqNi mahabbatiKa wa ma'rifatiKa" (O God, You are my objective, seeking to please You is my purpose, grant me the love and profound knowledge of You). Allahu-laa ilaaha illa Anta subhhanaKa inni kuntum min-ad-dholimin. Allahumma 'awslih qalbi wa 'amali. Rabbi inni lima anzalta ilaiya min khayrin faqir. WasalLahu 'ala sayyidina Muhammad wa 'ala aalii Muhammad wal hamdulilLahi rabbil 'alameen.

Uhibbukum filLah

With Ramadhan leaving us soon, I'm instinctively reminded of this beautiful story - the love of a student for his teacher. Masya-Allah, indeed Allah SWT works in miraculous ways that we can never fathom, laa hawla wala quwwata illa bilLahil aliyil 'azeem. This year, a spiritual father lost, a spiritual brother separated by distance and a newfound one starting his own family soon, alhamdulilLah. I cannot thank Allah SWT enough for His countless blessings, out of His rahmah, for surely this faqirah ilalLah (who has many shortcomings) is still struggling spiritually to find her path to her Lord and seems undeserving of a lot of the ni'mah bestowed upon her. I conclude this post with the advise from one of my teachers, "The complement to love is obedience for love without obedience is meaningless especially when one is in the place of the servant, in servitude to his/her Creator and Sustainer". Wallahu-'alam.

Irreplaceable...

My heart wept when told that Ayahanda was proud of us in terms of willingness to serve him, support RasululLah's cause, adab and above all sharing his genuine concern for the Ummah - Ummati, Ummati, Ummati. We will strive to make Ayahanda proud by sharing all that he has taught us but it would never be the same because he will forever be irreplaceable. Allahummaghfirlahu warhamhu...

Till We Meet Again, Ayahanda…

On 9 Mar 2017 at 9:47 AM (10 JamadilAkhir 1438H), my spiritual father returned to his Lord after being in a state of coma since 6 Mar 2017 (5 JamadilAkhir 1438H) due to haemorrhage stroke, bleeding in his left brain.

It was his second stroke since 2006, then there was bleeding in his right brain. He had refused surgery then and lived to teach hundreds, if not thousands (AlhamdulilLah! I was one of those lucky and privileged ones when I was introduced to him in 2009 by another of my beloved teachers), of lost souls seeking for authentic guidance, returning to the One and Only Lord.

At a time, when any sane human being would opt for surgery in order to prolong one’s life (out of fear for the ultimate – death!), Ayahanda chose Taqwa ilalLah - to have faith in Allah’s Qada’ and Qadr and redha with His plans for him.

I seek your continuous supplications for this beloved teacher of mine (and many who hold him dear to his heart, his memory etched deeply in our minds for eternity) for here stood a man, a rare gem, whose disposition reflected his principles and complete submission to Ad-Deen-ul-Islam.

He spoke from his heart and his compassion, earnestness, generosity, patience, as well as sincerity touched the hearts of others while his quick wit and sharp mind left many going, “I never thought of it that way!” and kept many a mind awake post lessons, pondering on what was taught, appreciative of his immense experience and in-depth knowledge of the Deen.

Gazing at his serene face before his journey to his resting place and witnessing the sea of people who attended his swolat jenazah, I am confident that al-marhum will be under the best of care in 'alam barzakh. For those he left behind (albeit temporarily), there is a deep void. May Allah SWT keep his family and students under His Care and Protection and guide us to those 'Ulama al-'amilin whom please Allah SWT and they, in turn, are pleased with Him (submitting to His will).

And may his students be in a capacity, bi-iznilLah, to continue his legacy – Da’wah (inviting mankind to Islam) and Islah (reforming Muslims) with wisdom – such that we attain mardhatilLah, aamiin yaa Allah!

Patience

Mum's advice - "If you hurt others, have the strength to apologize, and if others hurt you, have the strength to forgive. The people who test your patience are a blessing; without them, you cannot practise patience. Through the depths of pain, Allah SWT elevates the status of the believer. So bear your struggles with patience and prayer. Beautify your patience with silence, supplication and tears."

Indeed, the believers look for excuses. So keep the mask of silence for words are knives that can be thrown back at you. I end today's post with the quote from Sayyidina Ali Abi Talib RA, "Never explain yourself to anyone, because the one who likes you would not need it and the one who dislikes you will not believe it."

Arigato Santaro

A sudden craving by a dear friend mentioned via a random chat resulted in us ending up at Santaro (that's what friends are for)! Great food, greater company, meaningful conversation, alhamdulilLah for such perpetual blessings.

Rhetoric Too Late?

Was listening in on what John Kerry said about the two-state solution via the news. Am not one to comment on politics but the sense is that such rhetoric came too late. What follow-up action (based on the outlined theory) can constructively take place as the current president and administration prepares to exit in a few days? With God's condemnation of the rebellious nation who, in theory, is the 'chosen nation' (a claim they take pride in so do not insult their 'intelligence'), it points to a deeper state - that of a diseased self. Wa-Allahu a'lam. Please continue to du'a for Palestine.

Pieces of 2016

Returned to work after the long holiday amidst news of the demise of George Michael. I recalled the beautiful cover he did (profound lyrics); it seems that we don't get such wonderful melody and meaningful lyrics anymore... Through life's loss or separation, what remains constant is the feelings of knowing. That would suffice. When Allah SWT loves you, He places the love of you in the hearts of people whose love is worth having. So honor the guests of your heart and make supplications for those who linger in there.

O Patchi

AlhamdulilLah! I fell in love with Patchi last year during Umrah and was looking forward to meet it again. This week, my cravings have been satisfactorily satiated, thanks to a kind soul (eternally grateful!). I'm hooked for life :)

First Love

True. If I may loosely translate the quote (I hope I did justice such that the essence of the meaning was not lost in translation) - "Now and then, you think that it is easier to love everyone than to forget that one person; If there is that certain someone who already touched the core of your heart, those who succeed him/her are only touching possibility"

Walimah

AlhamdulilLah! The 4th of Zulkaedah 1435H (30 Aug 2014) was the matrimonial of my beloved cousin (adikQu) at Al-Muttaqeen mosque (such an apt name/place for this lovely young couple)! I'm so elated in sharing the happiness of the extended family. BarakalLahulakuma wa barakah 'alaykuma wa jama'ah bainakuma bil khayr (sakinah, mawaddah wa rahmah), aamiin Allahumma aamiin! ❤